Enjoy!

Many of you may be wondering, why? why do we basically need to end our speech with a formal conclusion? I mean, cant we just wrap it up by saying thank you and then slowly walk back to our seat?

Look, there are several reasons as to why we need to end our speech with a conclusion. First, you may have been talking for maybe 20-30 minutes max, and dont tell me that the audience would infact listen and remembered what you mentioned earlier on. Admit it, we are humans, and not robots for god sake and yes we then to suffer from a slight short term memory loss. So in our conclusion, we basically 'review our thesis', in short, its sort of like a small summary of our speech,.

Next, we want to review our main points mentioned earlier in the speech. We sort of like want to make sure the audience get the message we want to send to them in our speech. Like mentioned earlier, the audience might even forgotten what we basically said earlier so in our conclusion, let us remember to review back our main points.

Lastly, we should provide memorable final remark. In this case, do something that lets the audiece remembers whom you are. What im trying to say here is that, do somehting in which would attract the audiences mind and heart so that, in the future, they would remember what you basically had done while giving a speech.

Alright,

Let us now talk about what we should never ever do or in other words, avoid when one is giving a speech. I know, a lot of us a pretty nervous when it comes to presenting in front of the class and most of the time, we do these little mistakes without us even realizing about it.

Firstly, 'do not just end a presentation or a speech abruptly'. What im trying to point out here is that, for example, you just finish presenting your last point of your speech, and with all of a sudden, maybe due to the nervousness, you just sort of end the speech by saying thank you. Well my friends, the word-thank you, is not actually a conclusion to your speech. In fact it does not bring any significant meaning at all towards your speech.

Next, 'do not introduce new points in your conclusion'. Look, the last things those audiences want from you after one hell long of a speech is by introducing new points. It not only puzzles them but also sort of like brings down your image. Always act and be a professional while giving a speech, therefore, the audience would treat you with higher respect.

Lastly, 'do not apologize' to the audience for no particular reason. Yes you may apologize if u had touched on sensitive issues earlier in your speech such as being a racist but if you hadnt done anything wrong, please try avoiding this. Ok, coming in to your conclusion, lets be fair, the audience do not want to know how you felt towards them but instead, they want a short summary of what you basically mentioned in your speech earlier.

How to Engage the Audience During a Speech

During a speech, the attention of the audience is the most important. How to make the attention of the audience can classify to five steps.

Step1
Know your topic-Audiences are savvy and will be sure to tell if you aren't on top of your subject matter. Make sure that you speak only on topics you know well and can speak about knowledgeably.

Step2
Be enthusiastic-Nothing engages an audience more than passion. Even the most boring of subjects will seem fascinating if you are passionate and excited about them. Make sure you speak on topics that engage you and you will engage the audience as well.

Step 3
Keep it simple.-By limiting your speech to a few key points and concentrating on those exclusively, you'll keep the audience engaged in your subject and keep their attention from straying.

Step 4
Ask questions. -A sure fire way to engage the audience's attention during a speech is to ask them questions. This draws them into your speech and makes them more an involved, as opposed to a passive listener.

Step 5
Lighten up-No one expects a comedian, but by telling a few jokes, being animated, walking around the room or just be relaying an interesting anecdote, you will automatically engage the audience in your speech and make them want to hear more.

How to make a speech?

Speech is the faculty of uttering articulate sounds or words; the faculty of expressing thoughts by words or articulate sounds; the power of speaking. The process to make a speech is important than the information.

In general the following will also help:

• Put your speech on numbered cue cards for professional presentation.
• Speak clearly and distinctly. It's no good giving a fascinating speech if no one can hear it!.
• Make sure there is enough light for you to see you speech
• Take some deep breaths before you start to calm your nerves.
• Personalise your piece. Everyone likes to hear a true story. Then practise, practise and practise!
• If you use a microphone hold it about nine or ten inches away from your mouth. Don't swallow it! Make sure the microphone is free-standing so your hands are free for your cue cards.
• Leave them laughing. A funny incident is always popular.
• Make it short. Your audience should want to hear more not less.

Ok, lets put you into this situation,

' You're going to face a major examination- Stpm for instance, in a couple of months time but you dont seem to be that interested in studying nor had you been paying much time into revising your subjects'

Upon seeing this, your parents are really upset with your behavior and even with constant scolding, nagging, advice and even some beatings, nothing seem to work. So what your parents came up with is what we would call 'reward power'.

They made a deal with you, upon completing your examination, provided that you pass your exam, they would grant you anything you want. May it be a holiday trip or even a brand new car. So this indirectly triggers you to actually want to do well in your exams.

Therefore, before you even realize it, you are basically starting to revise your subjects constantly without fail. Now, you would even stay up till mid-night only to revise, plus, you had even sacrificed all your leisure time just to study.

Half a year later, you realized that you not only passed your exam but also managed to obtain a few distinctions. And with your parents little use of power reward there, it proves to be very useful !

One of the best way whereby a group could solve a problem is by actually brainstorming. This technique does help one to be more creative therefore, they would be able to contribute ideas into the team it self. Nevertheless, there are several rules which one must apply to be connected with this strategy.

First, 'criticism is forbidden'. Now why this is forbidden is that, when another group member is trying to generate ideas and one starts to criticize, indirectly, this causes a stop in flow of ideas into the brainstorming session. Next it would actually create a negative environment amongst team member as they acknowledge that none of the team members do respect their particular ideas.

Next, 'quantity is sought'. In this manner, quality wont be as important as quantity due to the fact that, the main reason one brainstorms is that, they want to find solution- 'S' to overcome their particular problem and its not a matter of what is the best way to overcome their problem.

Decison-making process

First priority in making a decision is to establish who are the decision-maker and stakeholders in the decision or the audience for the decision. Identifying the decision-maker early in the process cuts down on disagreement about problem definition, requirements, goals, and criteria.

Although the decision-maker seldom will be involved in the day-to-day work of making evaluations, feedback from the decision-maker is vital at four steps in the process:
1. Problem definition [step 1]
2. Requirements identification [step 2]
3. Goal establishment [step 3]
4. Evaluation criteria development [step 5]

When appropriate, stakeholders should also be consulted. By acquiring their input during the
early steps of the decision process, stakeholders can provide useful feedback before a decision is
made.

It is the decision team’s job to make sure that all steps of the process are adequately performed.
Usually the decision support staff should include the help of skilled and experienced analysis or
facilitators to assist with all stages of the decision process. Expert facilitation can help assure
that all the steps are properly performed and documented. Their experience and expertise will
help provide transparency to the decision making process and help avoid misunderstandings that often lead to questions about the validity of the analyses which ultimately slow progress.

There have eight steps for the general decision-making process:

1. Define problem
2. Determine the requirements that the solution to the problem must meet
3. Establish goals that solving the problem should accomplish
4. Identify alternatives that will solve the problem
5. Develop evaluation criteria based on the goals
6. Select a decision-making tool
7. Apply the tool to select a preferred alternative
8. Check the answer to make sure it solves the problem

Leader

A true leader accepts responsibility for his/her choices and the impact those choices have on others;

A true leader has the courage to stand up for his/her convictions even in the face of unpopularity;

A true leader show compassion for others,not just in words,but in deeds and actions;

A true leader has a humanity for a greater purpose,not just for early rewards.

From Anne Davis

Leadership involves a variety of skills. Leaders must have skills in communicating effectively, listening actively, working with people, and helping others work together in group. Leaders must have integrity and honesty. Good leader must first learn to be followers. Leader doesn't dominate in group, but lead by his or her actions. Leader need changes with the situation, thus different poeple can lead at different times. The best leader takes on many different roles to support the needs of the group. True leader focus on helping his or her groups achieves its goals rather than on his or her own recognition.

Leadership can be learned just like other skills, but it requires practice and determination. So, everyone can be a leader. The best way to learn leadership skills is work on leadership-related skills and apply them in situation require leadership action. Focusing on five leadership skills areas will help you strenthen and improve your leadership ability.

1. Understanding self- understand and develop a positive attitude
2. Communicating- effective two way sharing of information through speaking, listening, writing, and body language.
3. Getting along with others- develop and understand of how you relate to other people and accept and appreciate the difference between others and yourself.
4. Managing- Learn steps and approaches to make decision, set goals, and choose resources to achieve those goals.
5. Working with groups- Learn how to work together

Is easy to be a leader but is difficult to become a good leader.

I want to share something that is I got my very first and my very own salary! It is nothing for everybody else but for me, this is the rewards after my hardwork and I definitely learns lots of thing from my first job.

When My friends ask me what m I doing during weekends and i answered "working", they are taken aback because the answer they are expecting are shopping or maybe having fun at somewhere. I used to waste money unnecessary, my mum often advise me to control abit and she also shows me how the poor live and that earning money is not something easy. I used to ignore what she had said because I just cant imagine and cant feel the process of earning the money myself.

Starting this February, i start my first ever job. I decided to work because i want to learn something, maybe how to deal with people. I thought it is not going to be hard and i am very sure that i can go through this. Well, to tell the truth, it is not that easy, I have to wake up early on weekend morning and take public transport because I have the responsibility to open the shop. I also feel weird when i have to obey what my boss tell me to do. This makes me realise that i am really a spoilt brat and should change whatever wasting habit i have right now. Besides that, my relationship with my mum also get closer, i always call her and tell her my working experience and listen to her more.

I am trilled when my boss hand me my very first salary on 3rd February. I learned allot of things when i am working including obeying orders, smile even you don't feel like it, be polite to stranger, be patient when dealing with fussy customer and many more.

Drug abuse has been a terrifying problem for every country. It seems that every year, the number of drug abusers keeps on going up and it never seems to end, the worst part is, the users amongst teenagers especially are on a rise. Kids as young as 14-15 years old have been reported to have abused drug usage.

We can easily point fingers on whom are to be blamed;teachers, parents or friends, but seriously, what is the point?. Why not we take responsibilities and try helping these people out especially teenagers. As when they are in this age, what they basically want to try out whatever things they can get without knowing if its good or bad.

There are actually many ways one could get help from drug addiction. One would be seeking professionals help, such as from therapists and psychologists as what they basically does is to find the best solution for you to cure this addiction. Next would be joining a "social group". In such group, whereby it consists of around 5-10 people , they would share their experiences and how they managed to overcome this addiction.

Over a few weeks back, i got a shocking news from my fellow ex-classmate. It seem that my friend whom is now doing his form 6 back in Victoria Institution and a school captain by the way was sacked from his posts amid protests by fellow students and ex-teachers.

Very well, how this started was that, lets face it, 'bullying and beating' juniors does happen in high schools and we shall not deny it now. The school admin found out that the school captain came to know about a recent, i shall say 'bullying' session in my school but he didnt bother reporting the case and he eventually denied that particular incident when he was asked by the school disciplinary board. Therefore, he was sacked from his post.

Soon we found out, how this incident could be leaked into the teachers knowledge as students in my school are really good at keeping away and hiding such incidents from fellow teachers. Indeed, there was a 'rat' i shall say amongst the prefect board and he was the one whom reported this incident. And this person was my ex-classmate as well.

We are still angry about his actions and we knew that he has his own "hidden agenda" after all, as basically, since last year, he has been eye-ing for the school captains post, but he failed the interview and now he is back for revenge.

Problem-Solving Group

Maybe some of you had watch this before but i get to know this series of movie through Ms. Debbie. I instantly fell in love with this movie and try my very best to search for it because I actually love weird, rare and mysterious stuff like how a person with metal illness think.

This series are called Criminal minds and it basically show how a group of intelligent F.B.I profiler solve serial murder cases. The best part of all is, these people can actually know what are the criminals thinking about and try to save their next target. This series really show the important of team work because each of the F.B.I member have their own specialty and the cant solve any cases without their teammates. Besides that, I always remember the story of a father who show his sons the power of unity by asking them to break one stick and ten sticks together. This story teaches me that a person's ability are limited and a team of people are powerful and able to shake the world.

Although there are a team with many strong group members, but they are nothing without unity and teamworks. Therefore, we should unite and work together as a team to achieve whatever we are aiming.

Books

This book we will figure it out communication between men and women. It contains ten chapters which are:

1. Why won't anybody listen to me?
2. It's a Communication Skill
3. It's a Gender Issue
4. It's an Age Issue
5. It's a Power Issue
6. Feel Like an Equal
7. Act Like an Equal
8. Sound Like an Equal
9. Look Likan Equal
10. The Conversational Wardrobe

The Problems and Solutions-Briefly
The major culprits,then,are taking toong to get to the point and using too many details to expand that point.WHat quick solutions exist:

• Put your point first
• Follow with just the essential details,itemized

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Men-Will-Listen/dp/0595175252/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235369266&sr=1-20


Introduction
What is a real man?How does he think and act?Today,men are questioning who they are and what they are meant to play in their life.
What should men do>Should they hold on to traditiona roles and ways of thinking,or should they follow the road being pavec by new concepts of maleness?

This book will help you further explore he nature of men in a practal and personal way in regard to your own life,if you are a man,or to help you better understand and relate yo your husband,father,brother,or male friends,if you are a woman.

http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Purpose-Power-Men-Study/dp/0883688557/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235369314&sr=1-26

Communication between men or women

For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with.

Women want men to do what we want. We want them to want to do what we want, because that's what we do. If a woman perceives that something she's doing is really hurting a man, she wants to stop doing it. If she perceives that he really wants her to do something, she wants to do it. She thinks that that's love and he should feel the same way about her. But men have a gut-level resistance to doing what they're told, to doing what someone expects them to do. It's the opposite response of what women have." She reminds readers that, of course, there are men who are very helpful toward their women. "But if a man is going to be touchy, it's more likely to go in that direction. Whereas if a woman is insecure, she's more likely to go in the other direction, [and] be super- accommodating.

Communicating; talking in particular is a very good tool of one to judge another person in the sense of his behavior or what that particular likes or dislikes. Say, a person comes up to you and starts flirting with you, he starts of with sweet talking with you and moves another step next by inviting you for a date. In this case, you could judge by yourself that he may be or is really interested in you.

Another example is when you have a decent communication with another person. He or she starts talking about politics and how our government runs our country. Ok, at first you would surely judge that this particular person is interested in politics and so one. Later, they starts insulting our government on how inefficient they run our country; corruption,sex scandals, empty promises and so on. NOW, you would know that this particular person hates our government.

Look, how we communicate in public may seem like an unimportant matter for some people but the truth is, its the way how we communicate that influences the way people judges us. Leaders such as Barrack Obama speaks in such a comanding way and that is why millions of people have their deepest respect for him.

It is really interesting if you could actually sit in a coffee shop or mamak for example and just take your sweet time observing everyone in it (*i know only a lifeless person would do such thing but wth =) . You could actually learn a lot on the types of communication being practiced by these customers

For example, some may just talk non stop as though they had one hell of an experience to share around. At times, you could see them using hand gestures while talking meaning they are really trying to prove out a point. Oh well, the way some of these people communicate would actually make you have a laugh.

On the other hand, some people arent just interested in talking at all. There are many factors on why the just seem uninterested to talk, its something we would never know, but tiredness from work and being in a really bad mood may be just a few of them. ok, what you could basically see from how these peple communicate is that, all they do is pretend to smile, nodding their head couple of times and lastly just smilling to the other party. This is such a classic example of pseudolistening !

Auditory Hallucination

Do you know Paranoid Schizophrenia? It is one of several types of schizophrenia, a chronic mental illness in which reality is interpreted abnormally. The symptom of having paranoid schizophrenia is having auditory hallucination, delusions, suicidal thoughts, anger, anxiety, aloofness, verbal confrontation and many more.

I would like to emphasize on auditory hallucination because these patient can hear voices or sound that nobody could hear. The sounds may be a single voice or many voices. These voices may talk either to you or to each other. The voices are usually unpleasant. They may give a running critique of what you're thinking or doing, or they may harass you about real or imagined faults. Voices may also command you to do things that can be harmful to yourself or to others. When you have paranoid schizophrenia, these voices seem real. You may talk to or shout at the voices. Can u imagine there are voices everyday and everywhere around you that instructing you to do something wrong or unusual? these people are pity.Paranoid schizophrenia might caused of trauma or abuse during childhood, infection in womb, gene, stressful life and so on. It is crucial for these people to seek medical help because they might do something to hurt themselves. Family members and friends should give full support to them and encourage them to seek medical help.

What i really want to say is these people hear voices that they shouldn't and do not want to hear, they do not have a choice. In another hand, we do not appreciate that we are normal and we tends to say our elderly grumpy and we choose not to listen to what is best for us. =)

Compromising is a key element in a win-win situation and this situation could be applied to many aspects in our daily lives. You can apply the term win-win situation to any small negotiations in life. A typical comparison might be compromise between a husband and wife on an issue of contention. The couple might be arguing about family chores and taking care of the child. In the husbands defense, he claims that since he works outside, he shall therefore be excluded in these responsibilities.

As for the housewife, she claims that the amount of work inside the home and regarding childcare is just as weighty during the day. If she does allow this situation to continue, she is basically on the losers end.To create a win-win scenario, compromise and understanding of workload is needed

How the couple could actually compromise? Well basically what they can or might do is, the husband could help with some chores or childcare to even the workload, in such way, he not only benefits from a wife less tired, perhaps more devoted to the relationship, and certainly less resentful. The wife wins a little free time and the share of work becomes equitable.

In a recent research conducted in the States, researches found out what are some of the causes which motivates workers to perform better at their respective jobs. It come to our surprise that these small little things have slipped the minds of fellow employers but it indeed it plays a big role on how each any every employee performs.

Researches concluded that, employers; managers and board of directors to be precise, should recognize each of their workers. Recognition seems very easy but on many occasions, employees fail to respond to their workers. A basic pat on the shoulders or even praise an employees work is good enough to boos their motivation to work.

Lastly, employees should also start to acknowledge feeling and ideas of their respective employees. Acknowledging and recognizing may seem very similar but indeed, its pretty much very different. For example, pending precious time and listening to each employees views, ideas and problems is a great way to show employers acknowledgment for them. Employers should not only listen to them, but also try to help them or even take their ideas in which it might benefit the company in return.

Create Positive Communication Climate

The following are strategies for creating climates of positive communication:

• Avoid making assumptions - Avoid drawing conclusions before meeting with an individual or a family based on written information. Read only what you need to ask informed questions.
• Avoid jargon and explain technical terms - Use conversational language with individuals and families, and explain any technical terms. Service coordinators should refer to service agencies by name as opposed to initials, and explain terms such as behavioral intervention, authorizations, etc.
• Share complete and unbiased information - Share results of assessments with people in their entirety, giving individuals and families information with which to make informed choices. Avoid screening information based on personal values.
• Offer suggestions to individuals, but be certain that its clear that the suggestions are not the only options - Share advice with individuals and families, letting them know all other possibilities. Be supportive if they choose another option.
• Don't be afraid to say "I don't know." Be honest with people. Everyone appreciates a service coordinator who will look into the questions and get back to the person or family with the answer.
• Recognize differences in the way people acknowledge and understand information.- Explain information to people using a variety of aids (e.g., drawings, pictures) if necessary. Allow time for processing information, and answering questions.
• Strive for equality - Meet with individuals in a location where they are comfortable. If the meeting is at the regional center office, make the room comfortable for a discussion. Sitting behind a desk will likely convey professional distance.
• Respect cultural differences - Ask the focus person who ought to be invited to meetings. This will likely vary from person to person and family to family.
• Pay attention and respond to nonverbal cues - Be aware of body language of all parties.

Conflict Resolution

So what are the skills used to support conflict resolution, which also happen to support effective communication?

They are:

Listening

Summarising

Questioning

Listening
The purpose of listening in conflict resolution is not for the listener to get ‘the facts’ but to support the speaker in understanding their own thoughts and feelings about the destructive conflict they are involved in. If you are focused on getting the facts it suggests you are wanting to take some level of control of the situation in order to resolve it for the speaker. You can't resolve another person's destructive conflict, you can only help them to resolve it themselves.

Summarising
An effective summary maximizes the effectiveness of the communication that occurs through a checking with the speaker whether the summary is an accurate statement of what was said.
The summary is not a ‘statement of fact’ about what was said, it is an opportunity to clarify with the speaker that the thoughts and feelings and viewpoints they have expressed have been heard accurately. Besides, summarising is not a 'high pressure' activity for the listener as the summary is not going to be 'perfect' the first time it is given and it does not need to be.

Questioning
An open question allows the person to create any one of a number of possible answers that work for them. A closed, leading question means the person can only answer yes or no to the disguised direction they are being given.
The closed question approach is what often leads to the idea of ‘empowerment’ being looked upon with some cynicism as it is paternalism trying to pretend it is something else. It still harbours an ‘I know better than you and you should do as I say’ subtext which does not value the individual’s capacity to decide their own path.

First Impression

Do you know that a person only needs 3 seconds to judge you? It is our human nature to make these appraisal. I bet you will not wear a jean and a simple T-shirt for an important interview, all of these are because of first impression. When you make a poor first impression, you lose your audience’s attention, no matter how hard you scramble to recover it. That's how important first impression is.

I would like to share how to make a good first impression. It might be helpful when you go for a job interview or maybe when you try to make the first move to your crush. First and important, be on time! believe me that people are not interested in your excuses for being late for the first time and guess what, you are rated as unpunctual or a slacker if you do so. Next, your physical appearance do matters, it is okay to be yourself but your effort in dressing up means you respect the person you are meeting and it also rate your sincerity level. Besides that, be positive and confident when you speak because the way you speak really show your personalities. However, do not be too fake, relax and be yourself. No foul language please... Last but no least, SMILE. A smile is always better than a long and sour face, a smile can always melt a freezing heart and remember do not tell jokes if you are not good at it because it will make a freezing heart freeze more.

We only have a few seconds to make a good first impression and it is almost impossible. However, give your each new encounter your best shot and learn from mistakes, at least inside of us we know we had tried our best. Good luck ;)

7 Deadly Dating Sins

As promised, today we shall discuss and talk about the 7 deadly dating sins that we, guys tend to commit while flirting. Understanding this, greatly increases your chances of getting the women of your dreams. So, pay close attention. :)

Deadly sin number 1:

An indecisive and wimpy man

As you can see, the first deadly sin would be of the sin of indecision and wimpy-ness.

• It is always tough for the man to make decisions. Even so, always have 2 choices. Just in case the girl doesn't agree with one and by doing so, successively avoid an awkward situation
• Ask the girl for her preference. But those who think that letting the women decide would mean making her feel more comfortable and increases your chances of getting her, you are horribly WRONG
• She will feel frustrated even though the man was just being considerate by letting her choose as unsure of what she likes
• This to her subconsciously shows what the relationship is like
• May feel that the guy does not take the initiative and does not have enough oomph to make quality decisions

Sin number 2

Ungentlemanly conduct

The second deadly sin would be the sin of ungentlemanly conduct

• Examples would be, not pulling the chair for her, opening the door for her
• Women do not want to bring this guys home
• Women are looking for chivalry
• Might seem little but women appreciate small gestures that will go a long way for her
• But do not worry! You do not have to do this your whole life, only when you are trying to win her over
• May seem like a fantasy but women are looking for knights in shinning armor

Sin number 3

Fashion disaster

The third deadly sin would fall under the category of fashion sin

• Men must be always dressed smartly, nicely, neatly and ready to impress by being fashionably attired with neat and pressed clothes
• However, women do have a double standard
  
• They do not want to be judged by their appearances but judges man for theirs
• Some are even able to tell everything just by looking at the shoes. *hint there*
• If you really want to win her over, dress smartly even if its for a casual date
• Always take some time to look nicer, you never know who you're going to meet
• If ever in doubt, you can always see an image consultant which does not cost much and helps increases your chances tenfold!

Sin number 4

Bad table manners

• Those who are not able to hold a knife, fork or spoon properly and for some chinese people maybe even chopstick? Or chewing with mouth opened are unsuitable to be brought home for dinner
• Shows the women that you are a person with caliber and helps unsure that you are the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with as she is not ashamed to eat with you.
  
• Do not worry, manners can be thought
• You can start by practicing it on a regular basis

Sin number 5

Being a cheapskate

• If the guys don't pay for things, the girls would for sure run away *gold diggers*
• Goes back to thousands of years of the evolutionary psychology and how guys should always be the one paying
• Want to be sure that the guy would be able to provide for them, especially after having a family
• Give and take situation needed
• IF you're cheap, sorry you have no chance. And no splitting of bills please. :P

Sin number 6

A lousy car

• This part here is a tricky stage. Do not pick up the girl for the first few dates
• She may not trust the guy enough yet and is cautious for her own personal safety
• Maybe after 2 or 3 dates yes but always in a clean and tidy car
• If its inexpensive, at least make it tidy

Sin number 7

Lack of preserverance

• Women wants to be chased and to feel wanted; and for guys to pursue her
• Wants the man to go to the ends to provide and protect for her
• Want men to take the initiative
• Want guys to call them out for the first date
• If the man does not call within the first 2-3 days, the woman will then lose interest
• Pursuit is IMPORTANT
• If want things to work out, take the initiative to ask her out for the 2nd and 3rd time, things will then flow smoothly after that
• If you meet a woman for the first time, she will immediately tell her girlfriends and would be dying to hear from you. Therefore, there is no such thing as calling too soon
• Even if not sure, call or email. You will go up a notch or 2 in her books
• If she's not interested then its okay. You tried and the worst case scenario would be that she would think that you're interested and feel flattered
• JUST MOVE ON AND FIND ANOTHER ONE AFTER THAT :)

May your dating life be as prosperous as those PUA (pick up artists) Good luck and all the best flirting!

Communicating with people with hearing disabilities

Have you ever communicates with people with hearing difficulties? Well, my grandmother are having this problem and i think some of your grandparents are facing this problem too. We think that it is hard to communicate with them and tends to get impatient with them. Do you ever imagine how they feel?

Research show that 3 out of 1,000 babies are born with hearing loss with make it the most common birth defect. People that can not hear like us have a lower self-esteem, therefore we should treat them nicely and show them that they are still important and we care for them. People that are born deaf usually attend special school when they were young. These special school teach them sign language which is one of the best way for deaf and mute people to communicates. They also boost the confidence in them and provide them knowledge on everyday functioning. In the other hand, people who loss their hearing due to aging or accident usually use a hearing aid to help them listen better because they do not completely loss their hearing. However, they still have difficulty listening to certain words.

Here are some tips on how to communicates with people with hearing difficulties. Try to expose yourself to information on communication of people with hearing disabilities. For example, learn some lip-reading, sign language, gestures and more. Show some sincerity when you communicates with them. Never speak with your back to the person, and be close to the person when you communicates. Misunderstood of one word can make a person lost the meaning of a sentence, if this situation occur, rephrase your sentence instead of repeating it. Do not say 'never mind' because this respond will give the person with hearing problem low self-esteem.

There are various way of communication even we had lost one of our ability because God gave us human abilities and the knowledge to use them.

Advertisement a typical form of mass communication between a business and their potential customers. We can find advertisements almost everywhere, radio, TV, billboards, Internet and the list goes on. However, not every company can advertise effectively. The advertisement have to be attractive enough to attract people's attention and at the same time insert the message into people's brain and if possible stay as a long term memory. I had uploaded few creative advertisement that are attractive and deliver their message well. Hence, advertisement is an important form of human communication that comes from a person but reach millions of people.

Silent plea

The victim

The latest series of unfortunate event to have struck Virginia Tech, an academically renown university in Blacksburg, Virginia, has sent shock waves throughout the entire world a year after the brutal massacre. A graduate student, Zhu Haiyang who has been accused of beheading a fellow graduate student, Xin Yang displayed erratic and standoffish behavior months before the gruesome incident took place. Xin Yang who was from Beijing felt lonely in a foreign place found solace in Zhu and was even fond of him before she was slain. Zhu was caught by authroties holding Xin Yang's severed head in a coffee shop near Xin Yang's residence.

The accused

The incident above could have been avoided if authorities had been foretold of the severity of Zhu's condition by students as he displayed irregularities among fellow peers.

As we mourn the death of Xin Yang and honour those who deceased in the ghastly massacre a year ago, let us be conscious that such horrific incidents could have been avoided easily. As our society plunges deeper into calamity due to our declining level of morality, it is important for us to be observant and be aware of the basic non-verbal communication as to prevent this from ever happening again. This shows that people tend to down play the importance of non-verbal communication as they claim that it is less important compared to other more important communication skills.

However.

Non-verbal communication is in fact one of the most important features as it allows us to foretell the state one is in. Sometimes, all we need is a shoulder to cry on or a friend to turn to in our moments of darkness to see the light.

Interpersonal Communication Skills

What is the effect of a manager or business executive who has great interpersonal communication skills?

What are the effects of a manager or business executive who posesses poor interpersonal skills?

Even if we are a skilled communicator, we may not be communicating effectively at work. Our business culture, priorities, processes and physical environment, all play a part in how well information is sent and received. A large part of improving our communication environment is improving our own ability to communicate on an interpersonal level. We also can use interpersonal skills training, but some people need a major overhaul. And if these people happen to be managers or top leaders in your organization, the effects of their lack of interpersonal skills can be devastating to morale, productivity and employee retention

The basics interpersonal communication skills are all here—how to build and enhance our communication skills through effective listening, giving and receiving feedback, communicating with different personality types, and sharpening our verbal and nonverbal communication. The text explains basic communication theory as it applies to the workplace and offers “real-life” scenarios that demonstrate the use of effective interpersonal communication.

Human-animal Communication

Evolution of Communicative Flexibility: Complexity, Creativity, and Adaptability in Human and Animal Communication (Vienna Series in Theoretical Biology) (Hardcover)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Evolution-Communicative-Flexibility-Adaptability-Communication/dp/0262151219/ref=sr_1_6/279-6827440-5272032?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233560302&sr=1-6

Human-animal communication is easily observed in everyday life. The interactions between pets and their owners, for example, reflect a form of spoken, while not necessarily verbal, dialogue. A dog being scolded does not need to understand every word, but is able to grasp the message by interpreting cues such as the owner's stance, tone of voice, and body language. This communication is two-way, as owners can learn to discern the subtle differences between barks and meows … one hardly has to be a professional animal trainer to tell the difference between the bark of an angry dog defending its home and the happy bark of the same animal while playing. Communication is also significant in equestrian activities such as dressage. The concept of human-animal communication has existed in culture for longer than recorded history, being an element of many myths and folk tales of numerous cultures, and continues in modern popular entertainment. This section lists some examples of this, divided by the method of communication magical/supernatural, innate natural ability, technological, and unspecified/misc. Topics that are beyond the scope of this article and will not be listed here include intraspecies communication and interspecies communication not involving humans or sentient animals who can think but not communicate with humans.

Back during my high school days, when i once dated; my first and only girlfriend so far. Things blossomed weeks after we met, dates after dates and then we started getting more serious in our relationship.

It indeed lasted for quite a long time, about a year in fact. Even our families knew about this relationship and had no objection or what so ever. I would proudly say that, they were actually very supporting in many aspects.

Came one day when we had this very big fight and never talked for days. We then started avoiding one another for quite sometime. I did made the first move my asking her out and discuss about the matter but she kept giving excuses such as 'being too busy' , 'been grounded' , 'having exams' and so on. Eventually, we broke up for good and hardly even talk till today.

The movie Hitch did showed us various relational development and maintenance characteristics. The movie was starred by none other than Will Smith and Kevin James. Its about Alex 'Hitch' Hitchins, a so called love doctor which tries to help Albert Brennaman on ways to make good first impressions on the women of his dreams.

Indeed, the first thing Hitch taught Albert was initiating; which means making contact with another person. Albert was deeply in love with a celebrity client of his, Allegra Cole but he was dead clueless on how or whether he should make his first move.

Albert stood up for Allegra during a board meeting on how she should have control to use her assets without the control of anyone else. Feeling ashamed of his reactions, Albert quickly walked out of the meeting room and in he went hiding inside his office.

Allegra came by his office after that, and thanked Albert ! . So what Albert did was to ask her out on a date and to everyone's surprise, he accepted his offer.

Mid- of year 2008, the movie 21 hit our cinemas nationwide. This movie is basically about a group of college students under the guidance of their lecturer, ventured into Las Vegas, played blackjack and indeed won heaps and heaps of money by using a trick known as "card counting". But soon after, their tricks were busted by the security management in the casino they often gambled.

Ben Campbell was basically the main actor here, he did most of the gambling and won most of the cash, but Ben didnt worked alone, he actually had Jill Taylor, Choi and Jimmy Fisher to help him out. They communicated very closely but this time, its in the form of nonverbal communication.

For example, Jill would at times use, "subtituting" - which means, instead of speaking, he uses hand gestures mostly to indicate if he need his freinds help. By then, one of his friends would actually come in and pretenting to persuade him to leave the table therefore Jill would not loose more money while gambling.

The other nonverbal communication would actually be "complementing"-a form of scratching your head to signal out some thing. In this movie, Jill often does this trick when he is sure that he could win lots of money from that particular table. So, his buddies would come in and gamble together with him.

Americans hope ..

Identity management do actually play an important role in ones life.

One fine example i could actually think of is Barack H.Obama, the 44th President of United States. He first and only black man to actually lead a nation with a vast majority of whites people, so what did Obama did to persuade millions of American to vote for him?

During the presidential campaign, Obama faced a tight competition from McCain, whom many experts actually beleive is much experience and thus more suitable for the job, but in the end, Obama won the campaign with a majority of 54% which is actually more of what George W.Bush got during his last campaign.

I seriously beleive that, it was how Obama presented himself in public which managed to convinced the public that he is the right man for the job. Obama was always seen to be in a very stylish and yet elegent suit all the time. Its mostly about how he looks in the public.

Now, dont get me misquoted, i do not mean that just because Obama dresses in expensive suits therefore it played a major role in his presidential campaign, and therefore he won just because he looks good, well its not true !!! It cant be denied Obama is indeed a brilliant man and would be a great leader, but what i am trying to prove here is that, how Obama looked form the publics point of view, did play a vital role in his campaign.

Besides that, it was how Obama speaks mostly during his presidential campaign and if you have seen his recent inauguration speech, he was ever so convincing about his plan for the future and how he would change America. That was partially the reason why Americans were indeed convinced Obama was the right man.

All theses dressing up looking nice in public and the way Obama speaks and addresses the public are actually the characteristics of nonverbal communication.

Haptics

After our human communication lesson on 21/1/09 Wednesday, we know that non-verbal communication actually exist all the time and it is so natural that sometimes we do not notice that we are doing it. There are many forms of non-verbal communication, Chronemics, Kinesics, Haptics and Proxemics. I would like to share one of the non-verbal form of communication which is Haptics.

"Haptics" is a Greek word meaning "the science of touch". We do rely on our sense of touch to do our daily task such as typing our assignment, playing musical instrument, searching for something in the dark and people that need this the most are the blinds. Well this actually works because we have Mechanoreceptors all over our body that send information to primary sensory cortex in our brain.

There is a technology called the Haptic technology but the earliest application on Haptic is on animals which include human beings. Why do I say so is because we human being likes to touch each other and different kind of touch send different kind of meaning. For example, your feelings are positive when the touch is perceived to be natural. A person gets the opposite feeling when the touch is perceived to be manipulative or insincere. Touch is experienced in many ways. Handshakes, pats, and kisses are just a few of the ways one can communicate by touching. A firm handshake means your are confident and care while a weak handshake show you care less. Besides that touching at different part of the body also show the intimacy between the two person and gender also plays an very important roles in determining the meaning of the touch. Studies shows that people who are trying to flirt will tends to touch the target. Besides that, different cultures perceive touching differently. Asians will think that certain touching such as kisses are too intimate while the Middle East man kiss both of their friend's cheek to show friendliness.

The main point is, Haptics/Touching are part of our non-verbal communication that we do consciously or unconsciously. However, we should control our self and touch wisely because you will get into jail for touching the wrong place at the wrong time =)

Congratulations!

Newly elected president of America

Congratulations to Barack Obama for being elected as the 44th president of the United States and the first ever African-American leader of the mammoth nation.

Millions of citizens of the United States battled the cold in Washington D.C to make their voices heard as they bore witness to the inauguration of their newly instated president, Barack Obama who has taken the oath of office and is now sworn is as president of the United States.

Barack Obama's inaugration speech lasted for 18 minutes as he spoke with vigour and enthusiasm as the public was treated to a rare display of public speaking at its best. Mr Obama covered a widespread range of key themes with the sole intention as remaking America. He was candid about the challenges America faced as a nation but vowed for a new beginning as he was prepared to usher in a new era of responsibility. His underlying key point was for the nation of America to begin work straight away as many prepare for the worst as the economic recession continues.

"America is a friend of every nation and every man, woman and child... [ and ] we are ready to lead once more. " The sheer confidence and supremacy of Barack Obama in presenting his speech has inspired and given hope to many as the nation now turns to its leader. This shows us the importance of public speaking in communications in modern day culture as a form of establishment and necessity in presenting oneself.

Once again, congratulations to the newest elected president of America and may he be a major influence in re-shaping our world plagued with various social issues.

Sign Language

A sign language is a language which, instead of acoustically conveyed sound patterns, uses visually transmitted sign patterns likes manual communication, body language and lip patterns to convey meaning. Simultaneously combining hand shapes, orientation and movement of the hands, arms or body and facial expressions to express fluidly a speaker's thoughts. Sign languages commonly develop in deaf communities, which can include interpreters and friends and families of deaf people as well as people who is deaf or hard of hearing themselves. Wherever communities of deaf people exist, sign languages develop.

In fact, their complex spatial grammars are markedly different from the grammars of spoken languages. Hundreds of sign languages are in use around the world and are at the cores of local deaf cultures. Some sign languages have obtained form of legal recognition, while others have no status at all.

In addation to sign languages, various signed codes of spoken languages have been developed such as Signed English and Warlpiri Sign Language. These aren't to be confused with languages, oral or signed. A signed code of an oral language is simply a signed mode of the language it carries, just as a writing system in a written mode.Signed codes of oral languages can be useful for learning oral languages or for expressing and discussing literal quotations from those languages, but they are generally too awkward and unwieldy for normal discourse. For example, a teacher and deaf student of English in the United States might use Signed English to cite examples of English usage, but the discussion of those examples would be in American Sign Language.

Actually most people use Hello and Goodbye signs even if they don’t know any sign language without even realising it. That is because the signs for hello and goodbye are waves. Hello is a wave from right to left while goodbye is a wave with the hand folding up and down. And of course, these signs are recognised by people who do not know sign language as well, making the very basic introductions between people everywhere very simple regardless of their language abilities. Hence, I strongly believe that sign language isn't a difficult way to learn and we'll figure it out how interesting and amazing it is.

Communication for Social Needs

Year end and new year are joyful moments as there is not only holidays but this is also the time where major Festival such as Hari Raya, Christmas, New year eves and Chinese New Year are celebrated by multi-culture Malaysians. Gatherings with friend and relatives are a common practise during these festivals therefore families might not be at home during these festivals. These is also the best opportunities for thieves to break-in houses causing the increasing crime rates during this season.

The 'safe house' campaign is a campaign introduced by the government where police keep watch over houses when owners are away for the festive season. According to the Selangor Police Chief, this campaign are a success and Deputy Comm Datuk Khalid Abu Bakar said that not a single house registered with the programme was ever broken into since the campaign started two years ago. He also called on the public to be 'busy bodies' and inform the police if the saw any suspicious figure around their residence. “There have been many cases that were quickly solved, some with the perpetrators caught in the act due to fast and accurate information received from the public,” he said. Looming economy crisis might also increase the crime rates as people are loosing jobs and desperate. Various strategies have been planned to control the expected increase in these crimes and the commitment of the community are also crucial to succeed. However, the number of active community policing participants are disappointing. Besides that, due to the hectic life of the citizens, there are almost no communications between the neighbourhood.

As a conclusion, communication is essential to satisfy social needs and we should communicate with our neighbours and lend a helping hand when they need us because we don't know when is the day they might safe our lives and property. =)

I love human com :D

Hello!

Last semester, as part of our psychology group work we covered the fundamentals and basics of non verbal cues while flirting. This encompasses the techniques we subconsciously or consciously use while flirting with someone. For me, I personally feel that flirting is a 2 way process in which both parties show superficial or casual liking of interest.

First, lets talk about the non-verbal cues. This methods are proven to be 99.13% effective by expert flirt-ers from around the globe. For those wishing to learn a thing or two, please pay close attention and before you know it, you're the next new player! :D

Remember to never use corny pick up lines like:
(a) Are you tired? Because you have been running through my mind the whole day
(b) Is your parents a baker? Because you have great buns
(c) Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away
(d) Is your name summer? Because you are making me sweat
(e) Do you know CPR? Because you just took my breath away

but instead remember this non-verbal cues

1.Eye Contact
- the eyes are window to the soul
- making and holding eye contact, stealing quick glances and how you look at someone are all
important when flirting begins at the early stage
- try holding your target's gaze for more then 2 seconds. If he or she responds, good job! It is
likely that the feeling is mutual. :D if someone is stealing glances at you, it is likely that he/she
is interested in you.
- when listening to someone, you should glance at their face more but when speaking, try looking
away and then reestablishing a gaze after a few moments.

Please concentrate on the eyes. :P

2. Interpersonal Distance
- The exact term would be proxemics which is the study of the distance at which people
communicate with each other.
- How close you stand to your target indicates how much you're interested.

3. Postures and gestures
- Non verbal leakage is leaking what you really feel through your body posture and how your
body is subconsciously acting.
- Postural Congruence is when the person you're talking mimics your posture
--Example in movies, when the couples chins are rested on their arms and they are gazing at
each others eyes when talking. Awww.
--Positive signs which include maintaining eye contact and pecks on the cheeks



4. Touch
- Brief touches on the arm, kisses on the cheeks, hugs, slaps and handshakes all have different
meanings
- The gentlest touch would have a lasting impression on someone
- Note that, it is important to touch somebody appropriately as touching excessively will turn the
other relationship off

Stay tuned, as we are about to talk about the verbal cues and the dating sins the following week and you may even end up like him;

OUR FAVOURITE HERO, HUGH HEFNER

Basic Greeting

Greeting also call accosting is way for human beings to intentionally communicate awareness of each other's presencs, to show attention to, and to suggest a tpe of relationship or social status between individuals or groups of people coming in contact with each other.

As with many forms of comminication, greeting habits are highly culture and situation specific and may chnge within a culture depending on social status and relationship; the phenomenon as such exists in all known human cultures. Greetings can be expressed both audibly and ceremonial salutes ut includes rituals other than gestures. Basically, greetings are often but not always used just prior to a conversation.

A modest discussion starter

How do you know how to greet someone? What cues does a person use to choose the appropriate greeting? There are few gestures to greet someone. For example bowing, cheek kising, eskimo kissing, first pound, high-five, hug, pressing nose, hand shake, hand-kissing, hand raising or tipping, and so on. Voicemail greeting also is another way to greet. Voicemail greetings are pre-recorded message that are automatically played to callers, when voicemail answer the calls.

Relevant to this is a little snapshot in USAToday (January 8, 2009) on kissing as a form of greeting. Men and women differ considerably. 32% of men will kiss only the immediate family while 41% of women kiss only the immediate family.36% of the men would kiss very close friends, which seems very high to this greeting watcher while 36% of the women would. As to the percentage of men and women who would kiss only a member of the opposite sex: 33% of men and only 5% of women. Thus, men and women have a different greeting way depend on the situation and the people.

In my view point, we will greet friends, family or the people every moment and everyday. Greeting can count as our daily routine too. It is very important to learn how to greet with someone especially in manner way. Even the person is your enemy or you just don't like he or she, we also need to greet with them before start a conversation but perhaps is not in a manner way. At least we already show our generous and maybe in one we will become close friend. We don't know what is in the future and what is going on in the future too. Hence, we must show our polite when greet with someone and we will have a same feedback.

Communication and Culture

HELP university college is a well-known college and it is not a surprise thing to see HUC with students from different countries with different cultures and believes. It is a great thing to get to know them and communicate with them. However, it is necessary to understand even a little bit of the culture before you actually do any communication because you might accidentally do something that you think it is OK but it is not OK to them.

I believe everybody would agree that time is precious but not everybody hold the same time concept. Thus, I would like to share with you on the different concept of time between Germans, Japanese and us Malaysians. To begin with the topic, I would like to divide people into two rough categories with respect to time: monochronic and polychronic people. Monochronic people tend to do one thing at a time, concentrate on the job at hand, take time commitments seriously and are concerned not to disturb others. They also tend to be rule followers, show great respect for private property, seldom borrow or lend and emphasize promptness. Polychronic is the opposite of monochronic people. Germans are totally monochronic because promptness are taken for granted in Germany. For example, in Germany if you arrive late by even a few minutes, no one will be impressed by your sales presentation, no matter how good it is. Indeed, they may not even wait around to hear it. Therefore, u have to call up if you think you will be late. Besides that, in Germany, historical backgrounds are important to them, that is why every books, articles, journals and talk begin with background informations and we might get irritated with that because we might ask " why don't they just get to the main point?"
Japanese have two modes: a monochronic mode for foreigners and technology and a polychronic mode for virtually everything else. The Japanese switch from an open system for those in their inner circle to a more closed and tightly scheduled system for outsiders. To an outsider everything in Japan is rigidly scheduled. They organize a visitor's time and present him with a full schedule upon arrival. However, as one comes to know the Japanese, one discovers another aspect of their time system-- flexibility. Now, lets talk about the time concept in our own country Malaysia, we receive an invitation stating 7PM sharp and it is still OK if we are late for half an hour because, " Haiyo, traffic jam mah", " Sorry, I forgot", "My dog died", "My toilet sumbat" and the list goes on. So it is OK to be late in Malaysia because you just have to shoot a reason and infact it is always late. Maybe Malaysian are polychronic people.

As a conclusion, this is not to criticize or to compliment but to proof that cultures permeats all forms of communication and it is necessary to understand it influences to help you distinguish what is universal from what is relative because we do not want to piss the Germans off by getting late for 5minutes only. =)

The trend of students pursuing their psychology degrees are vast increasing by the year and it could be clearly seen in colleges such as Help University College.

I must admit that this course is indeed very interesting but on the other hand, do bear in mind that its not easy to read this subject. On completion of a degree in psychology, students are advised to pursue their masters preferably overseas as they would have brighter job opportunities later on in life.

Being a psychology may be an interesting career option, not only it provides a fat pay cheque at the end of each month, one would also have a really flexible working hours.

The question is, what makes one a better psychologist and stand out from the rest which are working in the same field?

In my opinion, a good psychologist must be a really good listener. By doing so, he or she would be able to understand how one feels and would try their best and solve the problem. You may obtain first class honors from prestigious universities, but if you cant listen to what your patients are trying to tell you, then how could you even think of helping out your patients?

A good psychologist must practice empathy/perspective taking if they wish to be a good in their field. One must put themselves in the shoes of their patients besides paying close attention on what they are trying to tell you before one tries to find possible ways to help the patient.

Lastly, a psychologist should actually let their patients talk more and not the other way round, as more communication is not better. As the patients talk and spills out more information about themselves, this makes life easier for fellow psychologist to help these patients.