Books

This book we will figure it out communication between men and women. It contains ten chapters which are:

1. Why won't anybody listen to me?
2. It's a Communication Skill
3. It's a Gender Issue
4. It's an Age Issue
5. It's a Power Issue
6. Feel Like an Equal
7. Act Like an Equal
8. Sound Like an Equal
9. Look Likan Equal
10. The Conversational Wardrobe

The Problems and Solutions-Briefly
The major culprits,then,are taking toong to get to the point and using too many details to expand that point.WHat quick solutions exist:

• Put your point first
• Follow with just the essential details,itemized

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Men-Will-Listen/dp/0595175252/ref=sr_1_20?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235369266&sr=1-20


Introduction
What is a real man?How does he think and act?Today,men are questioning who they are and what they are meant to play in their life.
What should men do>Should they hold on to traditiona roles and ways of thinking,or should they follow the road being pavec by new concepts of maleness?

This book will help you further explore he nature of men in a practal and personal way in regard to your own life,if you are a man,or to help you better understand and relate yo your husband,father,brother,or male friends,if you are a woman.

http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Purpose-Power-Men-Study/dp/0883688557/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235369314&sr=1-26

Communication between men or women

For males, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the group and keep people from pushing you around; you use talk to preserve your independence. Females, on the other hand, use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy; talk is the essence of intimacy, so being best friends means sitting and talking. For boys, activities, doing things together, are central. Just sitting and talking is not an essential part of friendship. They're friends with the boys they do things with.

Women want men to do what we want. We want them to want to do what we want, because that's what we do. If a woman perceives that something she's doing is really hurting a man, she wants to stop doing it. If she perceives that he really wants her to do something, she wants to do it. She thinks that that's love and he should feel the same way about her. But men have a gut-level resistance to doing what they're told, to doing what someone expects them to do. It's the opposite response of what women have." She reminds readers that, of course, there are men who are very helpful toward their women. "But if a man is going to be touchy, it's more likely to go in that direction. Whereas if a woman is insecure, she's more likely to go in the other direction, [and] be super- accommodating.

Communicating; talking in particular is a very good tool of one to judge another person in the sense of his behavior or what that particular likes or dislikes. Say, a person comes up to you and starts flirting with you, he starts of with sweet talking with you and moves another step next by inviting you for a date. In this case, you could judge by yourself that he may be or is really interested in you.

Another example is when you have a decent communication with another person. He or she starts talking about politics and how our government runs our country. Ok, at first you would surely judge that this particular person is interested in politics and so one. Later, they starts insulting our government on how inefficient they run our country; corruption,sex scandals, empty promises and so on. NOW, you would know that this particular person hates our government.

Look, how we communicate in public may seem like an unimportant matter for some people but the truth is, its the way how we communicate that influences the way people judges us. Leaders such as Barrack Obama speaks in such a comanding way and that is why millions of people have their deepest respect for him.

It is really interesting if you could actually sit in a coffee shop or mamak for example and just take your sweet time observing everyone in it (*i know only a lifeless person would do such thing but wth =) . You could actually learn a lot on the types of communication being practiced by these customers

For example, some may just talk non stop as though they had one hell of an experience to share around. At times, you could see them using hand gestures while talking meaning they are really trying to prove out a point. Oh well, the way some of these people communicate would actually make you have a laugh.

On the other hand, some people arent just interested in talking at all. There are many factors on why the just seem uninterested to talk, its something we would never know, but tiredness from work and being in a really bad mood may be just a few of them. ok, what you could basically see from how these peple communicate is that, all they do is pretend to smile, nodding their head couple of times and lastly just smilling to the other party. This is such a classic example of pseudolistening !

Auditory Hallucination

Do you know Paranoid Schizophrenia? It is one of several types of schizophrenia, a chronic mental illness in which reality is interpreted abnormally. The symptom of having paranoid schizophrenia is having auditory hallucination, delusions, suicidal thoughts, anger, anxiety, aloofness, verbal confrontation and many more.

I would like to emphasize on auditory hallucination because these patient can hear voices or sound that nobody could hear. The sounds may be a single voice or many voices. These voices may talk either to you or to each other. The voices are usually unpleasant. They may give a running critique of what you're thinking or doing, or they may harass you about real or imagined faults. Voices may also command you to do things that can be harmful to yourself or to others. When you have paranoid schizophrenia, these voices seem real. You may talk to or shout at the voices. Can u imagine there are voices everyday and everywhere around you that instructing you to do something wrong or unusual? these people are pity.Paranoid schizophrenia might caused of trauma or abuse during childhood, infection in womb, gene, stressful life and so on. It is crucial for these people to seek medical help because they might do something to hurt themselves. Family members and friends should give full support to them and encourage them to seek medical help.

What i really want to say is these people hear voices that they shouldn't and do not want to hear, they do not have a choice. In another hand, we do not appreciate that we are normal and we tends to say our elderly grumpy and we choose not to listen to what is best for us. =)

Compromising is a key element in a win-win situation and this situation could be applied to many aspects in our daily lives. You can apply the term win-win situation to any small negotiations in life. A typical comparison might be compromise between a husband and wife on an issue of contention. The couple might be arguing about family chores and taking care of the child. In the husbands defense, he claims that since he works outside, he shall therefore be excluded in these responsibilities.

As for the housewife, she claims that the amount of work inside the home and regarding childcare is just as weighty during the day. If she does allow this situation to continue, she is basically on the losers end.To create a win-win scenario, compromise and understanding of workload is needed

How the couple could actually compromise? Well basically what they can or might do is, the husband could help with some chores or childcare to even the workload, in such way, he not only benefits from a wife less tired, perhaps more devoted to the relationship, and certainly less resentful. The wife wins a little free time and the share of work becomes equitable.

In a recent research conducted in the States, researches found out what are some of the causes which motivates workers to perform better at their respective jobs. It come to our surprise that these small little things have slipped the minds of fellow employers but it indeed it plays a big role on how each any every employee performs.

Researches concluded that, employers; managers and board of directors to be precise, should recognize each of their workers. Recognition seems very easy but on many occasions, employees fail to respond to their workers. A basic pat on the shoulders or even praise an employees work is good enough to boos their motivation to work.

Lastly, employees should also start to acknowledge feeling and ideas of their respective employees. Acknowledging and recognizing may seem very similar but indeed, its pretty much very different. For example, pending precious time and listening to each employees views, ideas and problems is a great way to show employers acknowledgment for them. Employers should not only listen to them, but also try to help them or even take their ideas in which it might benefit the company in return.

Create Positive Communication Climate

The following are strategies for creating climates of positive communication:

• Avoid making assumptions - Avoid drawing conclusions before meeting with an individual or a family based on written information. Read only what you need to ask informed questions.
• Avoid jargon and explain technical terms - Use conversational language with individuals and families, and explain any technical terms. Service coordinators should refer to service agencies by name as opposed to initials, and explain terms such as behavioral intervention, authorizations, etc.
• Share complete and unbiased information - Share results of assessments with people in their entirety, giving individuals and families information with which to make informed choices. Avoid screening information based on personal values.
• Offer suggestions to individuals, but be certain that its clear that the suggestions are not the only options - Share advice with individuals and families, letting them know all other possibilities. Be supportive if they choose another option.
• Don't be afraid to say "I don't know." Be honest with people. Everyone appreciates a service coordinator who will look into the questions and get back to the person or family with the answer.
• Recognize differences in the way people acknowledge and understand information.- Explain information to people using a variety of aids (e.g., drawings, pictures) if necessary. Allow time for processing information, and answering questions.
• Strive for equality - Meet with individuals in a location where they are comfortable. If the meeting is at the regional center office, make the room comfortable for a discussion. Sitting behind a desk will likely convey professional distance.
• Respect cultural differences - Ask the focus person who ought to be invited to meetings. This will likely vary from person to person and family to family.
• Pay attention and respond to nonverbal cues - Be aware of body language of all parties.

Conflict Resolution

So what are the skills used to support conflict resolution, which also happen to support effective communication?

They are:

Listening

Summarising

Questioning

Listening
The purpose of listening in conflict resolution is not for the listener to get ‘the facts’ but to support the speaker in understanding their own thoughts and feelings about the destructive conflict they are involved in. If you are focused on getting the facts it suggests you are wanting to take some level of control of the situation in order to resolve it for the speaker. You can't resolve another person's destructive conflict, you can only help them to resolve it themselves.

Summarising
An effective summary maximizes the effectiveness of the communication that occurs through a checking with the speaker whether the summary is an accurate statement of what was said.
The summary is not a ‘statement of fact’ about what was said, it is an opportunity to clarify with the speaker that the thoughts and feelings and viewpoints they have expressed have been heard accurately. Besides, summarising is not a 'high pressure' activity for the listener as the summary is not going to be 'perfect' the first time it is given and it does not need to be.

Questioning
An open question allows the person to create any one of a number of possible answers that work for them. A closed, leading question means the person can only answer yes or no to the disguised direction they are being given.
The closed question approach is what often leads to the idea of ‘empowerment’ being looked upon with some cynicism as it is paternalism trying to pretend it is something else. It still harbours an ‘I know better than you and you should do as I say’ subtext which does not value the individual’s capacity to decide their own path.

First Impression

Do you know that a person only needs 3 seconds to judge you? It is our human nature to make these appraisal. I bet you will not wear a jean and a simple T-shirt for an important interview, all of these are because of first impression. When you make a poor first impression, you lose your audience’s attention, no matter how hard you scramble to recover it. That's how important first impression is.

I would like to share how to make a good first impression. It might be helpful when you go for a job interview or maybe when you try to make the first move to your crush. First and important, be on time! believe me that people are not interested in your excuses for being late for the first time and guess what, you are rated as unpunctual or a slacker if you do so. Next, your physical appearance do matters, it is okay to be yourself but your effort in dressing up means you respect the person you are meeting and it also rate your sincerity level. Besides that, be positive and confident when you speak because the way you speak really show your personalities. However, do not be too fake, relax and be yourself. No foul language please... Last but no least, SMILE. A smile is always better than a long and sour face, a smile can always melt a freezing heart and remember do not tell jokes if you are not good at it because it will make a freezing heart freeze more.

We only have a few seconds to make a good first impression and it is almost impossible. However, give your each new encounter your best shot and learn from mistakes, at least inside of us we know we had tried our best. Good luck ;)

7 Deadly Dating Sins

As promised, today we shall discuss and talk about the 7 deadly dating sins that we, guys tend to commit while flirting. Understanding this, greatly increases your chances of getting the women of your dreams. So, pay close attention. :)

Deadly sin number 1:

An indecisive and wimpy man

As you can see, the first deadly sin would be of the sin of indecision and wimpy-ness.

• It is always tough for the man to make decisions. Even so, always have 2 choices. Just in case the girl doesn't agree with one and by doing so, successively avoid an awkward situation
• Ask the girl for her preference. But those who think that letting the women decide would mean making her feel more comfortable and increases your chances of getting her, you are horribly WRONG
• She will feel frustrated even though the man was just being considerate by letting her choose as unsure of what she likes
• This to her subconsciously shows what the relationship is like
• May feel that the guy does not take the initiative and does not have enough oomph to make quality decisions

Sin number 2

Ungentlemanly conduct

The second deadly sin would be the sin of ungentlemanly conduct

• Examples would be, not pulling the chair for her, opening the door for her
• Women do not want to bring this guys home
• Women are looking for chivalry
• Might seem little but women appreciate small gestures that will go a long way for her
• But do not worry! You do not have to do this your whole life, only when you are trying to win her over
• May seem like a fantasy but women are looking for knights in shinning armor

Sin number 3

Fashion disaster

The third deadly sin would fall under the category of fashion sin

• Men must be always dressed smartly, nicely, neatly and ready to impress by being fashionably attired with neat and pressed clothes
• However, women do have a double standard
  
• They do not want to be judged by their appearances but judges man for theirs
• Some are even able to tell everything just by looking at the shoes. *hint there*
• If you really want to win her over, dress smartly even if its for a casual date
• Always take some time to look nicer, you never know who you're going to meet
• If ever in doubt, you can always see an image consultant which does not cost much and helps increases your chances tenfold!

Sin number 4

Bad table manners

• Those who are not able to hold a knife, fork or spoon properly and for some chinese people maybe even chopstick? Or chewing with mouth opened are unsuitable to be brought home for dinner
• Shows the women that you are a person with caliber and helps unsure that you are the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with as she is not ashamed to eat with you.
  
• Do not worry, manners can be thought
• You can start by practicing it on a regular basis

Sin number 5

Being a cheapskate

• If the guys don't pay for things, the girls would for sure run away *gold diggers*
• Goes back to thousands of years of the evolutionary psychology and how guys should always be the one paying
• Want to be sure that the guy would be able to provide for them, especially after having a family
• Give and take situation needed
• IF you're cheap, sorry you have no chance. And no splitting of bills please. :P

Sin number 6

A lousy car

• This part here is a tricky stage. Do not pick up the girl for the first few dates
• She may not trust the guy enough yet and is cautious for her own personal safety
• Maybe after 2 or 3 dates yes but always in a clean and tidy car
• If its inexpensive, at least make it tidy

Sin number 7

Lack of preserverance

• Women wants to be chased and to feel wanted; and for guys to pursue her
• Wants the man to go to the ends to provide and protect for her
• Want men to take the initiative
• Want guys to call them out for the first date
• If the man does not call within the first 2-3 days, the woman will then lose interest
• Pursuit is IMPORTANT
• If want things to work out, take the initiative to ask her out for the 2nd and 3rd time, things will then flow smoothly after that
• If you meet a woman for the first time, she will immediately tell her girlfriends and would be dying to hear from you. Therefore, there is no such thing as calling too soon
• Even if not sure, call or email. You will go up a notch or 2 in her books
• If she's not interested then its okay. You tried and the worst case scenario would be that she would think that you're interested and feel flattered
• JUST MOVE ON AND FIND ANOTHER ONE AFTER THAT :)

May your dating life be as prosperous as those PUA (pick up artists) Good luck and all the best flirting!

Communicating with people with hearing disabilities

Have you ever communicates with people with hearing difficulties? Well, my grandmother are having this problem and i think some of your grandparents are facing this problem too. We think that it is hard to communicate with them and tends to get impatient with them. Do you ever imagine how they feel?

Research show that 3 out of 1,000 babies are born with hearing loss with make it the most common birth defect. People that can not hear like us have a lower self-esteem, therefore we should treat them nicely and show them that they are still important and we care for them. People that are born deaf usually attend special school when they were young. These special school teach them sign language which is one of the best way for deaf and mute people to communicates. They also boost the confidence in them and provide them knowledge on everyday functioning. In the other hand, people who loss their hearing due to aging or accident usually use a hearing aid to help them listen better because they do not completely loss their hearing. However, they still have difficulty listening to certain words.

Here are some tips on how to communicates with people with hearing difficulties. Try to expose yourself to information on communication of people with hearing disabilities. For example, learn some lip-reading, sign language, gestures and more. Show some sincerity when you communicates with them. Never speak with your back to the person, and be close to the person when you communicates. Misunderstood of one word can make a person lost the meaning of a sentence, if this situation occur, rephrase your sentence instead of repeating it. Do not say 'never mind' because this respond will give the person with hearing problem low self-esteem.

There are various way of communication even we had lost one of our ability because God gave us human abilities and the knowledge to use them.

Advertisement a typical form of mass communication between a business and their potential customers. We can find advertisements almost everywhere, radio, TV, billboards, Internet and the list goes on. However, not every company can advertise effectively. The advertisement have to be attractive enough to attract people's attention and at the same time insert the message into people's brain and if possible stay as a long term memory. I had uploaded few creative advertisement that are attractive and deliver their message well. Hence, advertisement is an important form of human communication that comes from a person but reach millions of people.

Silent plea

The victim

The latest series of unfortunate event to have struck Virginia Tech, an academically renown university in Blacksburg, Virginia, has sent shock waves throughout the entire world a year after the brutal massacre. A graduate student, Zhu Haiyang who has been accused of beheading a fellow graduate student, Xin Yang displayed erratic and standoffish behavior months before the gruesome incident took place. Xin Yang who was from Beijing felt lonely in a foreign place found solace in Zhu and was even fond of him before she was slain. Zhu was caught by authroties holding Xin Yang's severed head in a coffee shop near Xin Yang's residence.

The accused

The incident above could have been avoided if authorities had been foretold of the severity of Zhu's condition by students as he displayed irregularities among fellow peers.

As we mourn the death of Xin Yang and honour those who deceased in the ghastly massacre a year ago, let us be conscious that such horrific incidents could have been avoided easily. As our society plunges deeper into calamity due to our declining level of morality, it is important for us to be observant and be aware of the basic non-verbal communication as to prevent this from ever happening again. This shows that people tend to down play the importance of non-verbal communication as they claim that it is less important compared to other more important communication skills.

However.

Non-verbal communication is in fact one of the most important features as it allows us to foretell the state one is in. Sometimes, all we need is a shoulder to cry on or a friend to turn to in our moments of darkness to see the light.

Interpersonal Communication Skills

What is the effect of a manager or business executive who has great interpersonal communication skills?

What are the effects of a manager or business executive who posesses poor interpersonal skills?

Even if we are a skilled communicator, we may not be communicating effectively at work. Our business culture, priorities, processes and physical environment, all play a part in how well information is sent and received. A large part of improving our communication environment is improving our own ability to communicate on an interpersonal level. We also can use interpersonal skills training, but some people need a major overhaul. And if these people happen to be managers or top leaders in your organization, the effects of their lack of interpersonal skills can be devastating to morale, productivity and employee retention

The basics interpersonal communication skills are all here—how to build and enhance our communication skills through effective listening, giving and receiving feedback, communicating with different personality types, and sharpening our verbal and nonverbal communication. The text explains basic communication theory as it applies to the workplace and offers “real-life” scenarios that demonstrate the use of effective interpersonal communication.

Human-animal Communication

Evolution of Communicative Flexibility: Complexity, Creativity, and Adaptability in Human and Animal Communication (Vienna Series in Theoretical Biology) (Hardcover)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Evolution-Communicative-Flexibility-Adaptability-Communication/dp/0262151219/ref=sr_1_6/279-6827440-5272032?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233560302&sr=1-6

Human-animal communication is easily observed in everyday life. The interactions between pets and their owners, for example, reflect a form of spoken, while not necessarily verbal, dialogue. A dog being scolded does not need to understand every word, but is able to grasp the message by interpreting cues such as the owner's stance, tone of voice, and body language. This communication is two-way, as owners can learn to discern the subtle differences between barks and meows … one hardly has to be a professional animal trainer to tell the difference between the bark of an angry dog defending its home and the happy bark of the same animal while playing. Communication is also significant in equestrian activities such as dressage. The concept of human-animal communication has existed in culture for longer than recorded history, being an element of many myths and folk tales of numerous cultures, and continues in modern popular entertainment. This section lists some examples of this, divided by the method of communication magical/supernatural, innate natural ability, technological, and unspecified/misc. Topics that are beyond the scope of this article and will not be listed here include intraspecies communication and interspecies communication not involving humans or sentient animals who can think but not communicate with humans.

Back during my high school days, when i once dated; my first and only girlfriend so far. Things blossomed weeks after we met, dates after dates and then we started getting more serious in our relationship.

It indeed lasted for quite a long time, about a year in fact. Even our families knew about this relationship and had no objection or what so ever. I would proudly say that, they were actually very supporting in many aspects.

Came one day when we had this very big fight and never talked for days. We then started avoiding one another for quite sometime. I did made the first move my asking her out and discuss about the matter but she kept giving excuses such as 'being too busy' , 'been grounded' , 'having exams' and so on. Eventually, we broke up for good and hardly even talk till today.

The movie Hitch did showed us various relational development and maintenance characteristics. The movie was starred by none other than Will Smith and Kevin James. Its about Alex 'Hitch' Hitchins, a so called love doctor which tries to help Albert Brennaman on ways to make good first impressions on the women of his dreams.

Indeed, the first thing Hitch taught Albert was initiating; which means making contact with another person. Albert was deeply in love with a celebrity client of his, Allegra Cole but he was dead clueless on how or whether he should make his first move.

Albert stood up for Allegra during a board meeting on how she should have control to use her assets without the control of anyone else. Feeling ashamed of his reactions, Albert quickly walked out of the meeting room and in he went hiding inside his office.

Allegra came by his office after that, and thanked Albert ! . So what Albert did was to ask her out on a date and to everyone's surprise, he accepted his offer.